Hassle-free blogging just got even easier.
Writers’ block? No problem! Introducing AutoMatton
Here at WordPress.com, we‘re always looking for ways to improve the blogging experience. We pride ourselves on taking your suggestions to heart and work tirelessly to create better tools for you.
Today, we’re releasing a game changer.
As WordPress.com becomes easier to use, one piece of unanswered feedback keeps nagging at us: blogging is hard! Not only do you have to think of something worth saying, you have to take valuable time out of your day to write those things down in an appealing, easy-to-read way! Improvements to WordPress.com can speed up things like load times, but we simply couldn’t remove human nature from the equation… until now.
What is AutoMatton?
AutoMatton uses a simple machine learning algorithm to predict the posts that you will write, taking predictive text and auto-correct to the next level. Think of it as your own private blogging DeLorean traveling at 88mph, but without the need for illegally-obtained plutonium.
AutoMatton analyzes all of the posts that you’ve published, Facebook statuses you’ve liked, Google reviews you’ve left, and emails you’ve sent your mother to produce prose that could have been written by you. Written by future you, that is. Amazing!
Haven’t written much yet? No worries! AutoMatton will fill in any gaps with text randomly pulled from three-year-old Yelp reviews and Wil Wheaton’s Twitter feed to produce full, seamless posts.
I haven’t written anything myself since 2009!
How is the content created?
AutoMatton’s job is to figure out the words that you would use given a specific topic to write about. It scours your existing words, fills in the blanks, and checks its own work. Each post AutoMatton writes is compared to your canon of work, old report card grades, everything written by Kurt Vonnegut, and Terms of Service documents from the top 500 most visited websites. AutoMatton then feeds this information back to itself to improve the accuracy of its predictions. It’s like magic.
You can define the approximate word count as well as the number of images that you’d like to use per post. From there, it’s simply a matter of providing a topic and pouring yourself a cup of tea. Or whiskey. Or whiskey with tea.
Once AutoMatton is enabled, you’ll be asked to fill out a short survey and provide some links to your existing social media profiles along with a list of all your living relatives and the password to your Instagram account. From there, just pick a topic for your post and let AutoMatton go to work. In just a moment, it will will generate a title and content and and add your specified number of photos.* All you need to do is click Publish!
*Note: all photos will be kittens. Puppy photos will be available in version 1.1.
I wrote the entirety of Richards IV through VII using AutoMatton!
Never write anything, ever again. To anyone.
Being that our roots are within the open source community, we’ll be opening up this code. We hope to see people build on this work to create automated solutions for any type of writing — we see lots of potential!
Running late and need to tell your partner? Simply press a button and allow AutoMatton to have that conversation for you.
Traffic on the 101 is nuts! On top of that, there was only one small piece of pork in the entire bowl, and the rest of it was shredded and dry.
Yes!!! Boba tea FTW!!!
Need to respond to the email from Aunt Rose from two weeks ago? AutoMatton can tell her all about your new job, without her knowing that it isn’t you. She might even send you a snowglobe from her trip to the Grand Canyon for being so nice.
Dear Aunt Rose,
Hope you’re having fun in Colorado! I hear it’s beautiful, like Applebee’s with a different name. I wanted to tell you that I got that job at Star Trek: The Next Generation! I start on Tuesday.
That’ll do, pig. That’ll do.
They’ll never know it wasn’t really you!
How do I get started?
Simply click the Enable AutoMatton button under Settings → Writing in your site’s dashboard, or click the button below:
Once enabled, fill out the form to provide the initial data to AutoMatton. AutoMatton will then run in the background generating content by future you.
Please note: WordPress.com is not responsible for the results.
If you use AutoMatton, feelings of frustration or anger may occur, either yours or that of your readers and friends.
Some AutoMatton testers reported dry mouth, fatigue, feelings of helplessness, jealous shinbone syndrome, or an uncontrollable need to laugh during inappropriate situations.
i actually needed that…..
Errr….. What’s the date?
that was messed up. q_q
The new AutoMatton feature in WordPress is super awesome! I have been waiting for something like this for quite a while.
Thank you Matton!
I have sold almost all of my assets and worldly possessions including my children’s college funds as well as our medical and emergency accounts and am letting it all ride on your new machine learning tool!
Basically I have set up a multitude of WordPress sites all based on AutoMatton. Now that everything is in essence “pre-written” I can really make use of all my free time. Using your advanced algorithmic protocols and my extensive online history of wordsmithery the new posts will not be as good as my own manually written posts might have been — they’ll be better!
I’ll neither read them or write new ones again as I’ll already know what’s in them and I’ve no need to try to out do the machine (which is really just me anyway).
I’ll be on the beach if you need me! But you won’t need me, will you? No!
Steven Hawking, Elon Musk and Bill Gates were wrong – this is nirvana.
I do not see the Automatton option on my dashboard.
Forgot to add, at least it proves that some of us read all you send!
It’s April 1st here ………… presume the same there?
Nice. Very, very nice.
But seriously, I would love an app like that…. it would be great if it could generate thoughtful comments, too. Automattically…..
Well you almost had me there, telling you what the heck is the point of blogging then… but I forgot it is April Fools… good one.
I’m sooooo glad this is not real! LOL I was so confused!!! I clicked on the ‘Comment’ button to come and gripe about taking away the authentic “voice” of the artist, and technology going too far, and blah, blah, blah…then I noticed all the other comments, and remembered the date (I hate this date for that reason. Lol). Good one!
Awww… I got fooled tooo!!!!!! I just read your comments… 😄
Good one. Glad I remembered it’s April 1st.
As if we don’t think enough on our own?
I bought it hook line and sinker hahah!
Okay…..so kick me. Excellent prank….. 🙂
Hahahha, I just spit up on my smart phone. You’re paying for that by the way! I have in the past sent texts that were full paragraphs of autocorrect suggestions just to mess with my girlfriend. Let’s try one here shall we?
“I have a sneaking suspicion that you don’t have to speak with you and get some comments going to help people that are just starting out in the yard and I will be there for a few days they can watch themselves. The water was calm and gorgeous and I will be there for a few days. The healthy rains have caused a mass influx of weeds throughout the world to see.”
That was way cleaner than what I sent to my girlfriend. Probably for the best. Great satire my man!